Doubt as my essence

You know, I know, we know our words wouldn't flow as well without this liquor. Take my hand, ignore the rhymes and letters. Take significance as a prayer to a god full of doubt. What is my faith made of ?  Fear or love, I doubt. By my thoughts I exist, and by our love we create a melody, shared with others like that one folk song. We get it, love isn't enough and I don't believe in it. Break this prison and free my words, I don't know who you are and how many you are but I believe therefore I am. Let me drink a shot full of dreams and ambitions. I write these words as I lose control but don't you think my hypocrisy is far worse than your jealousy ? Ignore those questions, I wasn't getting answers anyway. Let's light a cigarette, let's fire our blood, who cares god is not but you are. I take this as an insult, you know ? The god within me isn't leaving but some may try and make it go. Damn it, I broke my cigarette. Yes, they mistook me for a monster I am not, I may become but now I'm different and they ruined my truth but you rebuilt it. I don't know you, or how many you are but you are and I believe, no, I do not doubt. I need to stop writing, my guts won't stop me. As a child full of anger and sadnes, I lost meaning of anything ! Don't you think it's funny, I smoke and then I pray. I drink and then I lay to cry. I was frustrated, mad to ignore who pushed me into this version of myself ! But it was me, no one else but me and my arms aiming at the innocence I used to have. No, I doubt, God I doubt, but will it make me, me ? I bet you're sick of my questions. My father told me nothing. And I miss it. The nothingness of eveything. The existence of me is everything but a sentence so I remain happy. I'm throwing the bottle, I promise, but remember my words before they disappear.